Dealbreakers

You get three choices of qualities in a hypothetical boyfriend/girlfriend. Assuming that the three prospective mates are similarly attractive to you (both physically and in personality) unless otherwise noted, tell which of the three quirks or habits would be the dealbreaker for you and why. 

Spends at least 5 hours a day playing World of Warcraft OR watching sports OR hanging out with their buddies?
Sports, since I'm really not into sports all that much.

Is a hardcore conservative who loves FOX News and Sarah Palin OR an over-the-top liberal who refuses to shop at Wal-Mart or eat non-organic food OR truly believes in anarchy? 
The conservative, definitely. I could NEVER be with a conservative whatsoever.

Expects sex within the first three dates OR wants to wait until marriage to do it OR lets you decide when to first do it but is terrible in bed?
I guess waiting until marriage. I don't really have a timeline for sex, I have it with someone when we both feel like it's appropriate, and... if they're terrible in bed, I'll have to teach them, but I can do that. ;)

Wants to have at least 5 kids OR absolutely hates kids OR already has a kid?
5 kids, because FUCK NO.

Calls mom more than once a day OR calls his ex-girlfriend more than once a week OR likes to call a phone sex line? 
Maybe phone sex? This one is tricky...

Favorite music is show tunes OR teen pop bands OR very twangy country music?
Twangy country music. Country music is my least favorite genre, so I couldn't deal with that.

Likes to tell immature poop jokes OR racist jokes OR graphic sexual jokes? 
The immature poop jokes. They don't amuse me and just make me feel my brain cells dying.

Doesn’t own a TV OR doesn’t have the Internet OR doesn’t have a car?
I guess the internet because there is something wrong with someone if they don't have internet.

Is very religious but non-judgemental towards those of other faiths OR is an atheist but very vocal about it and mocks non-atheists OR is a member of a religion you’ve never heard of?
Very religious. I really can't deal with religious people because it clashes so much with my beliefs.

Smokes cigarettes OR drinks heavily OR does pot not to excess but regularly?
Smokes cigs. They smell bad and are horrible for you. Drinking is also horrible, but maybe a bit better, and I smoke weed to excess, so...

Has over 20 exes OR has never dated anyone before OR is bisexual and has never been with someone of your gender in the past?
Probably hasn't dated anyone. I dated an extremely inexperienced guy once, I was his first kiss and he was a virgin and it was horrible.

Is an actor who is hounded by the paparazzi OR a musician who is on tour most of the year OR a high-power businessperson who is constantly stressed out?
Probably the musician, unless I could tour with them because long distance is extremely difficult; I know this from experience.

Is a very picky eater OR terrified of planes and bugs OR a meticulous clean freak? 
Clean freak, because I am a messy person. 

Is your former teacher (once you’re old enough) OR a kid you used to babysit (once they are old enough) OR your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend’s best friend?
A kid I used to babysit. That's kinda creeptastic.

Likes extremely kinky sex OR is extremely conservative and boring about sex OR likes porn better than the real thing?
The porn one. Vanilla sex is good, and kinky sex is fun, so... 

Best friend is someone with a terrible (and deserved) reputation OR a person of your gender who he/she has never had a relationship with but tells everything to OR doesn’t have any close friends?
First one. Terrible people are terrible. My best friend is a person of the opposite gender, and having no close friends is also something I have experienced.

Is blind OR deaf OR covered in scars from burns from a car accident?  
Hmm... probably deaf?

Goes into relationships expecting only a casual, short-term, sex-driven fling OR a serious commitment hopefully leading to marriage from day one OR little more than friendship? 
Maybe the last one, because I want a relationship to be a relationship. I need intimacy.

Wants to join the army OR drop out of school and try to make it with their band OR never move from their childhood neighborhood, have a boring 9-5 job and a completely unadventurous life?
Army, because I could never be an army girlfriend. I don't like the army, or what it does.